Show Don't Tell

1. The hero was strong and handsome. He was admired by the townspeople. He was brave and wished to help those in need.

"Oh my!" Amber whisperd to her best friend Daniella. "Watch his perfectly tanned muscles when he chops the wood."
"Wow!" Daniella said as she watched his axe crush down into the wood. "He is so strong." He is so strong." Daniella said dreamily.
"Did you heard Dani? The other day Mrs Thompson was crossing the street when a car came speeding around the corner. Just off the town square. Right over there." Amber pointed to their left and Dani follwed her hand to a crushed stop sign.
"Wow! Is she ok?" Dani asked Amber anxiously.
"Yes, of course she is... Thanks to Evan." Amber said and both girls dremaily turned back to Evan and sighed as he cut into his 13th peice of wood.
"Well he ran and pushed her out of the way of the car. He then sheilded her head as they hit the hard ground on the sidewalk. The car speed into the stop sign and the person got out to try and run. Evan jumped up put Mrs Thompson safely on the side of the road and chased after him. He caught the man and later that night on the news Evan said that he was only walking when he caught him. My mum saw everything and said he was going pretty fast.' Amber said to Dani. "Oh my! He is so brave. My dad could never do that, without killing himslef." Dani laughed to herself.
"I know! He is my hero..." Amber said dreamily turning back to Evan.
All the towns women who had gathered to watch Evan sighed when he put his shirt back on. When Evan noticed the towns square was filled with women watching him in admiration he blushed shyly.

2. The wizzard was ugly and evil. The people of the town were terrified of her. She enjoyed threatening them, especially children. She was cruel and greedy.

"Quick Oscar!" Came a whisper out of the dark.
Osacr turned over sleepily and mutterd, "What?", as he pushed his doona over his head. It was cold and Oscar was starting to shake.
"You have to hurry. Helga is coming, she is two streets down. She took Mr and Mrs Bakers daughter Eva and she is roaming the streets." Came Oscars mothers voice out of the dark.
Oscar sat up and snapped into action. He knew what to do, he had practised it more than a million times in prepeation for Helgas return. Everyone knew what to do. The town had not slept a week after Helgas last attack. Oscar grabbed his dressing gown, put on his slippers and ran into the room next to his. He brabbed his little sister out of her crib. He soothed her whimpers by rocking her back and forth and telling her it was ok.
He put her tiny arms into her tiny jacket and put sock on her tiny feet to keep her warm. He hid her in his jacket cradiling her comfortabley, knowing he would meet his mother and father in the towh square he ran into the hall way and into the street. Oscar screamed as he came face to face with Helga. She was a wizzard from out of town, she had warts and boils all over her face. She lived alone and came once every two weeks to gather chidlren to take back to her hut and keep captive. Osacrs 'jacket' began to cry ahd he despertal;ey tried to soothe his little sister, Mary's, crys of fear.
"Give me your sister!" Helga snarled at Oscar in a greedy way. Eva was at Helgas side and was sobbing loudly asking to be let go. Oscar ran in the opposite direction and stopped suddenly. Helga who had begun to chase him was sent hurtling to the ground, freeing Eva. Luckily he was strong, he was 17 and had just had his final growth spurt and gained some new muscles. He grabbed Eva in one arm and held Mary tight to his chest with the other arm. He ran, leaving Helga the helpless wizzard on the tough gravel. He ran around the corner and down that street, then made a right and pulled into the town square. Everybody cheered when they saw Eva in his arms. They gave him a badge of bravery. Nobody ever feared Helga again as she was helpless old lady and they know had Oscar to protect them.